Jealousy.. the one feeling we’ve all felt and hate admitting to. Even reading the word creates an icky feeling. It’s been the cause of fights, tears, sleepless nights, and even breakups.
As a woman, I’ve felt jealousy of other women throughout my life. The woman who is more beautiful than me, the woman who is wealthier than me, the woman with “my” ideal man on her arms. We all feel jealousy, from someone’s body shape to accomplishments to babies and relationships.
Somewhere out there is a woman who has something you want but the difference now that I’m older is that I use jealousy as an indicator on what I get to work towards. The difference now is that I know that anything anyone else has in life I can have too. I allow myself to feel jealous, I notice where in my body I feel the energy maybe it’s in my stomach or in my chest. I acknowledge to myself that I’m feeling it and I ask myself “What are you feeling jealous about? is it her killer legs? or funny sense of humor? or her confidence or presence? What word would I use to describe what I’m feeling jealous of?” I focus on getting as clear as possible about my answer.
Once I have clarity on what feature or accomplishment I’m feeling jealous I think of action steps to take so that I can have that in my life. If it’s physique, can I hire a trainer, or come up with a fitness plan? If it’s confidence or conversation skills, can I take a class or hire a coach?
Therefore I don’t need to hate on another woman, I don’t need to throw her under the bus, in fact, I can celebrate her. I can go to her for coaching on how to achieve those results. I can thank her for the inspiration. I’m tired of seeing women bring other women down and it starts with me. So next time you feel jealousy or envy ask yourself if you’ve done everything you can in your power to have the same result? Ask yourself if it’s really about her or you? Ask yourself how you can take steps to get there too?
About the Author: Brandie Carlos
Brandie is a Los Angeles based web designer, writer, and founder of Therapy for Latinx. She has a passion for personal development, women’s progress, and is passionate about supporting local business.